literature

Spared- At a Distance

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GrayscalexBassGDMCR's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Shelled up, held up, I can't talk to you no more
But you say- you can- see more than what the rest forlore
You know I can't hear you between closed doors
Now all I can do is sink down through the floor

So- do you get it now?  May faith depends on you, oh Angel
you think I'm running from saviours when it's only you,
It's only you

Down through the floor, we dive beyond antique trunks of memories
Past burned edges, black with belligerence
that only reverse the remedies
They wither and die with the same damn consistence
Shallow eyes can't see my scars aren't resistance

So- [screamed]
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

Keep your distance

So- do you get it now?  May faith depends on you, oh Angel
you think I'm running from saviours when it's only you,
It's only you
Not sure if it feels done
Did this one on the bleachers this morning thinking about my mom and I.

I think the end goes out with acoustic guitar and soft vocals
© 2008 - 2024 GrayscalexBassGDMCR
Comments4
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Dokuji-AAtisuto's avatar
It doesn't feel quite done, but the first verse is very good! Perhaps a chorus that doesn't involve screaming? I find that more often than not, those bands or singer/songwriters that are completely musically focused tend to fare better.

An idea: Try setting the entire song to softer, but ever-so-slightly edgy vocals with acoustic guitar, just like you planned with the end. Write up a second verse. This shows promise!